How to make friends in a new city after 30

Making new friends past 30 is a specific skill. Nobody's assigning you dorm-mates, colleagues are busy with their own lives, and Saturday nights don't refill themselves. Here's what actually works.

1. Pick a repeating activity, not a one-off event

The Sunday run club that meets every week beats the fancy networking gala every time. Repeated exposure is how adult friendships form. Sign up for anything that reoccurs — running, climbing, pottery, board-game night.

2. Use TBuddy for the first three months

The first move in a new city is the hardest. Verified profiles and shared interests remove the awkwardness — you're not cold-DMing strangers, you're chatting with vetted locals who chose to be findable. Filter for your neighbourhood + interest, send three short messages, and one will always click.

3. Say yes to the second invite, not just the first

Everyone shows up once. The people who become friends are the ones who show up again — and again. Say yes to the second invite even when you're tired.

4. Host something small

• Coffee at 11 on a Sunday for four people you like.
• Board-game night in a café — someone else's Wi-Fi, someone else's clean-up.
• Weekend walk with a rotating +1.

Adult friendships are built in the gap between the first meeting and the fourth. Everyone quits at meeting one. Show up for two, three and four.

5. Be the person who reaches out

Everyone is waiting to be invited. Be the one who messages. It's the single most important habit — and it costs nothing.